Assessing the success of custody arrangements during divorce

The period running up to Christmas can be a hectic time for everyone. On top of making sure that the food has been ordered, guests have been invited, and last-minute presents have been purchased and delivered, ensuring contact arrangements go ahead smoothly can feel overwhelming. If you have managed to plough through so far but are acutely aware that there will need to be some changes to the arrangements, what is the best way for you to approach it?

The answer is simple but not necessarily easy. The best way to approach contact arrangements is to raise the issue with the other parent at the earliest opportunity. This then gives you and them as much time as possible to see what is workable for everyone. 

Whilst you and your ex-partner have an equal right to see the children, there is no law in place to say that it is a right to have “your turn” at Christmas (unless you have a court order setting out the arrangements).

Contact over Christmas can vary from family to family. For some, the children will spend Christmas Eve to lunchtime on Christmas Day with one parent and then from lunchtime on Christmas Day until the end of Boxing Day with the other. For others, the Christmas special days are alternated yearly, so the children spend Christmas Eve to Boxing Day with one parent one year and the other the following year. There is no right or wrong.

What can you do and how quickly should you do it?

If there is a court order in place and a change cannot be agreed upon, depending on how close you are to the Christmas contact, it is likely that you will need to stick to the arrangements that have been ordered by the court. If an agreement is in place, but you wish to vary it, immediate discussions with your ex-partner may be the best way forward.

 If there are no arrangements in place and your ex-partner is unwilling to agree to contact, then your only way to secure seeing your child(ren) during the Christmas period is to seek an order of the court. However, the courts have limited availability during the Christmas break, so it is advisable to make an application without delay.

If you have compromised on Christmas this year but wish to have something concrete in place for next Christmas, we recommend you seek legal advice at the earliest opportunity. Depending on your location, the court is taking up to 12 months to consider contact arrangements. You want to get ahead of this and ensure you know what is happening with Christmas next year as soon as possible.

Do you need to document the change of arrangements?

Generally, there is no requirement to update any documentation or seek a further order from the court if alternative contact has been agreed upon. However, it is advisable to have a written record of what has been agreed. This can be done in a letter signed by both of you, in an email, in a message or on a parenting application you may be using, such as the OurFamilyWizard app or AppClose. We recommend you print a copy of the agreed changes and keep them with the court order or a parenting plan (if you have one).

If there is no agreement in place and your ex-partner refuses to agree on contact arrangements, you will need to seek an order from the court.

What do you need to do next?

If you are amicable and can communicate with your ex-partner, the next step would be to raise the changes you wish to make to contact and explain why. It will then allow them to consider everything and come back to you. If you cannot agree on everything, you may be able to meet halfway. When it comes to children, flexibility is key. It may be that the arrangements for collections and drop-offs are changed to accommodate the contact you believe to be in the children’s best interests or that handover timing is varied to allow the children to spend more time with one parent and possibly extended family members that are visiting for the Christmas period.
 

If you are unable to communicate with your ex-partner or wish to discuss your options, you will need to seek an order of the court. Before making an application, seeking legal advice on your position is advisable, as sometimes a solicitor letter can solve the issue.

If you need any advice or assistance, please do not hesitate to get in touch. Our family solicitors all offer a free initial 15 minute telephone appointment to discuss your needs. If you are experiencing difficulties regarding the Christmas holidays with the other parent, we can help. I can be contacted on 01245 453818 or via email at [email protected].