Are you considering a very different Christmas next year?

In the absence of a significant event, such as the discovery of an affair or other unforgivable conduct, it is rare for the realisation that a marriage has run its course to come on suddenly. More often than not, it is a series of issues arising over a period of time, sewing seeds of discontent which, unless addressed, grow until a point that separation may be the best option.

Seeking Marriage Guidance

We would always recommend seeking assistance to save a marriage that may be capable of saving. Marriage guidance can help a couple explore and discuss their issues and find a way to rekindle their relationship. However, it is a sad reality that sometimes relationships do not work out, and separation, whilst painful, is necessary to allow you both the opportunity of a happy life.

The realisation that there is a need for divorce brings with it a significant number of issues which will need to be considered and addressed: Where are you all going to live? How are your finances going to be separated? What arrangements should be made for the children, and how should they be informed? And how exactly do you get a divorce?

Simplifying the Divorce Process

The actual process of divorce is now relatively straightforward. Applications can either be made by one spouse or by you both jointly and are based upon a simple declaration that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. There is no longer any requirement for either spouse to be blamed for the relationship breakdown, nor do you have to wait until you have been separated for a period of time. You will need your marriage certificate, and if you do not have this, a copy can be obtained here.

Financial Considerations

When considering the financial aspects, the key first step is to ensure that you both have a complete understanding of the extent and nature of the assets that you both have. All assets and liabilities should be considered, including property, investments, pensions and business interests, regardless of whether they are owned in your joint names or by one of you solely. A family home valuation should be obtained, and it is a good idea to gather documents such as bank statements, payslips, tax returns, and business accounts. It is also a good idea to speak to a mortgage advisor to identify what your mortgage capacity might be and to check the local housing market to see what the cost of alternative housing might be if you had to move.

The appropriate outcome for you will depend upon your family’s circumstances. No two families are the same, and we are fortunate that English Family Law allows for a significant amount of flexibility to ensure a fair outcome, and where there are children, their needs are always considered paramount.

Parental Responsibilities

With regards to the arrangements for any children, for those children who are the biological children of you both, born via IVF provided to you both or who are adopted by you both, you will both share something called parental responsibility. This means you have equal rights and responsibilities when making decisions concerning your children. Parental responsibility may also have been acquired in other ways, such as for step-children via a step-parent parental responsibility agreement.

Where parental responsibility is shared, the arrangements for the children, including where they shall live and how much time they shall spend with each parent, should be agreed upon. If that is not possible, an application can be made to the court. In the absence of any safeguarding concerns, there is a presumption that a child has a right to spend regular and consistent time with both parents. This does not necessarily mean equal time as, again, each family is different, and any arrangements put in place should meet the best interests of the child and should put their needs first. Resolution, an organisation of family law professionals, have put together a helpful guide for parents who are separating.

Your Next Steps

Having made a decision to separate or having been informed by your spouse that they want to separate, the decisions that need to be made and the way in which you both approach those discussions are going to be some of the most important decisions and steps that you will ever make and will impact not only your own future life but also those of your children.

Getting early legal advice is key. All of our family solicitors at Birkett Long LLP are members of Resolution and are committed to providing you with practical and easy to understand advice tailored to your family’s unique circumstances. We will explore all the options available to resolve the issues constructively and to minimise conflict, whether that is supporting you in having direct discussions with your spouse, through mediation or negotiating on your behalf and, should it not be possible to reach an agreement. We can, of course, assist you should any application have to be made to the court.

For more information about how we can help, our family solicitors all offer a free initial 15 minute telephone appointment to discuss your needs. I can be contacted on 01206 217305 or via email at [email protected]